california girl

I took a week of vacation and flew into LA to visit a friend, then drove up the coast and stayed in Sacramento with family. It was a blast, and here are some of the highlights:
*Buzzed on Venice Beach with friends and strangers
*Crossing a California King and Rattlesnake while hiking in the valley
*100+ degrees!
*Watching dolphins swim near malibu
*Drinking $7 beers on the beach
*Fake modeling on the beach near a real models photo shoot
*Cruising in a sweet red Mazda 3 rental that had both manual & automatic drive.
*Driving through the home of split pea soup
*Stopping at Morro Bay and checking out one big rock
*The bus ride, grounds, gardens, view and pool at Hearst Castle - if only I could have cooled off in that water.
*Making friends, having dinner and watching sunset at Big Sur
*Getting a pedicure - making me worthy of wearing my flippy floppys
*Exploring Sacramento with family

captcha is craptcha

weve all seen them...those dark boxes with mismatched letters and numbers creating nonsensical words meant to be retyped by you and me. still not sure what a captcha is? Here is an example for ya:

what in the bleep is that? they are meant as security measures, but are often so hard to read that few could possibly type them correctly. assuming you do get it right, how does that make anything secure? dont most people on computers type letters and numbers?

the explaination on my space is that it's used to figure out if you're a person or a computer. filling out the captcha helps to stop spammers and phishers. how? dunno. well g-dam it if it doesnt stop me too! my personal average is around 5 captchas before i get it right. they are craptastic.

bite me

This never happened in the Twilight novel, but click here to see the deleted scene: first bite...enjoy!

star struck schmuck

I was supposed to meet my hubby at the grocery store - he with the car - after work but I was quicker and he was later than I thought. So the shopping is done and I have nothing to do but stare at a cart full of food. So I asked the store clerk to hold my cart, I would be back. Wandering outside, I found a semi-cozy spot between 2 concrete pillars under an awning in front of a movie theatre.

There I was sitting protected from the dark wet drops falling from the sky, when I noticed a familiar figure pass by. From the back he appeared dressed head to toe in black except multi-colored paint splattered on his Doc Martens, sporting a dissarayed gray afro and what appeared to be an eye patch. There is only one man I have ever seen that fits this description...he was judging a Bras for the Cause event I was in...it had to be the world famous glass artist and painter, Dale Chihuly.

The man still had his back to me as he entered the movie theatre, and I frantically searched my mind for my options which I determined included...
1. Spring from my seat and ask for an autograph.
(What would he sign, my bra? No good!)

2. Casually saunter out of the shadows and share my admiration for his work.
(He hadnt even noticed me...He might think I was some stalker fan...No good!)

3. Continue sitting there like a loser.
(Well I suppose its better than my other options).

So my frozen ass sat there watching the amazing Chihuly walk upstairs toward concessions, envious of the theatre staff serving popcorn. At least if I was behind the counter I might have an excuse to say something cool...he would think I was so clever, he would inquire to know more, find out I was an artist, interested he would take my business card, follow up with me and I would become a known artist overnight. Yes! My mind wandered thinking of all the things I might have said - I just saw your work at SAS in North Carolina, and love your piece on the ceiling at Bellagio in Nevada, oh and that documentary about the work you did in ice... I decided that I made the right move - which was no move - as my words were far to lame to be said aloud and not worth disturbing the man over.

Why do I have these dreams of producing little to no original art (commissions dont count!), yet somehow becoming a sort of breakthrough artist with all kinds of notariety?! Rediculous! And why would I think I even want that? I really just want to do art in my basement and not work anymore. And you know what, maybe world famous artists just want to see a movie sometimes without fanfare right?! I dunno. I am a schmuck. G-Damn it.

i know my sins will take me to hell

One of the many lines that brings a tear to my laughter...I know I praised The Lonely Island and their album Incredibad in a recent post, but the videos are my new fave thing. Oh Andy Samberg (not to be confused with Adam Sandberg), you are a comic genius! Let me count thy ways...
1)

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3)

SNL A Special Christmas Box - Watch more Funny Videos
4)

While goofin on youtube recently - okay so I was looking for new rick rolls - I discovered a new breed of music video. I have a total weakness for puns, stupid funnies, and creative people, which I found manifested in what is called a literal video.
To make a literal video you must change the lyrics of a song to describe what is literally taking place in the music video, sing and dubb it over the original and then share it with the world! There are some great examples HERE that are sure to make you snicker (and flash back twenty years or so).

incredirad

If you are a fan of the snl digital shorts **** in a box or **** in my pants, you will likely ****ing love The Lonely Island! Andy Samberg and a couple other hilarious guys teamed up with some big names to create thier band and release thier first album called Incredibad. Like the name implies, its a collection of incredibly well mixed and produced music set behind really bad lyrics - a sort of updated Weird Al Yankovich, only better. And I loved Weird Al, but this is a new breed of funny. These guys are a talented bunch and the simplicity of the humor makes it that much funnier. You must check it out!!! There are a few videos here, but you must see thier latest video featuring T-Pain here! Seriously, you must enjoy the badness of it all. Really.

dont judge me

sometimes you need to hide in plain sight. whether you want to create an alter ego or simply escape the gaze of a crazy person that you never want to see again, a subtle disguise is in order. as you see here, using careful discretion when choosing a disguise is mandatory! the groucho marx/four-eyed hitler look says classic sophistication, while the bifocals/clown nose combo speaks to a smart yet witty character that no one knows. The sinatraesque old blue eyes glasses mix flower child and rat pack into a quirky combo that easily blends into the background. when choosing your own method of disappearing in public, do consider the use of wax lips or a faux grill.